Chadar Day 8: What Himalayas taught me (Back to Leh)

There was paratha and eggs for breakfast. I ate really well and even packed two rolls with cheese for the journey (what a good move I later realized!).

I kept a steady pace through the day - a deliberately slow one - with the realization that it was the last day in Zanskar (for now). I was prolonging my being with Himalayas as much as possible.

I recall that I was very happy, happy during lunch. Fooling around and taking pictures of everyone. D took one of me feeding pasta to the skull of the goat. Played with the snow. We were at the same spot (Deepyokma) where we slept the first night. I had the sense that hey, it's almost over and whether we like it or not we'll be enroute Leh now. Little did I know then that the rest of day would turn out to be as unpredictable as the previous day.

I walked pretty much by myself. Wanted to be with the Himalayas. Thinking and thinking and absorbing the endless surroundings. Most of what I thought was about the Himalayas themselves. How it blocked the clouds, brought the snow and rain down, created rivers, sent them down below to India and everywhere, changed seasons, how the same water evaporated again, joined clouds, drifted towards the same Himalayas again, came down again....meaningless but full of meaning! The Himalayas are so huge, so vast, so timeless that everything else seems so very small in front of it. It pretty much ignores everything and everybody - quite stoically - yet, observes everything very actively. You dump on it, sleep on it, pee on it, love it, meditate on it, tread on it, die on it - it all means the same. It's all the same. It keeps on doing its thing - as it thinks is right - again and again and again. There are no goals, no destinations. It seems so purposeless that in it lies every purpose. The Himalayas have been around for millions of years before my time and they'll be there for millions of years after my time. I am but a speck of dust.

There were areas along the trek that were difficult and downright risky. One fall and you are in the Zanskar (remember: "end of story). How the porters did it with all the weight on their backs - is quite amazing. I slid and fell a few times on the ice - sometimes a couple of feet from the river. Nice!

When Namgyal (one of the kitchen staff) told me we have another hour of trekking left, I took it as my "last hour in Zanskar" and prolonged as much as possible. I didn't realize then that that one hour would be rolled into several and would turn out to be a mini-adventure in itself.

Once I reached the road (one had to hike up and away from the Chadar), I kept walking and walking - expecting to find the vehicles that would transport us back to Leh. I didn't see them! I must've walked for 5 km in the solidifying snow with no vehicles in sight. We passed through the Hemank - Border Roads Organization - camp site. We had driven past all this on our way to the Chadar. What happened to the vehicles?

Dorje, the 20 year member of the kitchen staff joined me after awhile in my walk. We walked together. He told me about his village in Zanskar, his family of 10 (4 brothers, 4 sisters, 1 mamma, 1 pappa). When I asked him if he ever considered moving to the city for a living - he matter of factly told me, "There's great milk in Zanskar from big cows, why would I want to move to the city?" He added thoughtfully, "It's also too hot and there are too many vehicles." He made sure both of us prayed at a mini temple that we found on the way and also that we offered something to the Gods. He then said it's a local ritual and now the Gods are happy and our journey would be safe. (What did he know that I didn't? Where are the vehicles?)

When we reached the next camp site/ village, I somehow assumed the vehicles would be there. There weren't. Instead, we saw Ajay - all ready and set for a hike. He said that the road's broken down (due to either an avalanche or a broken truck) and everyone's in the village restaurant. We went it. A curtain closed the dark room everyone was sitting. Everyone cheered as I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Then I saw everyone happy on local rum (Chinar). What? Aren't we going to hike to Chiling? Where are the vehicles?

Milan amazingly organized a military truck to get our chilled butts to Chiling village - about 12km away. I tore my Goretex pants trying to get on top of the truck. Back of the truck, my fingers froze. I tried everything - from sitting on them to cupping them in my armpits. Nothing worked. They stayed frozen. The military truck (which almost run a couple of us down), dropped us at Chiling (thank you, thank you, thank you!). We played Anthakshari and waited for the vehicles, which finally arrived. It took us another 3+ hours of driving in the snow before we got back to Leh. I packed and got ready for my early morning flight out of Ladakh.

Chadar Day 7: The night I came back to life (Tsomo Cave)

This was the toughest day by far. Tsering said that the day would be long - possibly a 7hr hike. It wasn't 7 but 11. We started at 7.45AM and reached at 7.40PM - with a lunch break in between. It took the "mickey out of me" - to use Milan's words.

All was well until lunch. I think we took a break at a spot where had rested before. I can't remember now. During lunch, everyone voted/ took a call on whether they'd like to proceed or halt for the night and take it easy. Everyone wanted to proceed and so we did.

The whole day involved ploughing through snow. Snow meant that there were fewer early travelers and therefore a less cleared path. Each step meant digging in and then ploughing out. I don't remember what happened during most of the day. It was just walking and walking and walking - one foot at a time without thinking about the destination. (I'm seeing houses and houses and buildings and buildings from the plane - yuck!).

Mammut and I were together as dusk set in. Earlier in the day, I kept pace with Tsering Le and that was real fast for me. Tsering is 54 and walks better than most 20 year olds. Thakpa told me that the Ladakhis are born with bigger lungs making them natural to the mountains. All my fast paced walking added up towards the evening. It got darker and darker. Starting with the crescent moon, slowly the night sky started revealing itself out. No one behind, no one ahead. Just blackness with guidance from my LED headlamp. At some points, I worried if we had gotten past the camp site and didn't realize it. What if we had to camp at some hole in the mountain right there? What would we feed our already famished bodies? How would we survive the cold? It was about -15 to -20 degrees centigrade. How would the rest of the team find us? Why did we take those breaks on the way? I would push aside the answer-less questions and look up to the constellations that started showing up one by one. A beautiful but gentle reminder that we were very late.

Each step became more difficult than the previous one. Fatigue had completely overtaken the mind. The brain was slowing down. Oxygen levels were low. Climbing up and down the rocks seemed a deadly chore. At some points, I almost didn't care where my foot landed! One little slide and we would be in the Zanskar and to use Pankaj's words - that would be "end of story." Mammut didn't have light so we were coordinating our steps together.

Finally after several unknown dozens of minutes, I saw a flash of light from someone's headlamp. The main light and then the flash from the red LED. It was a message. I messaged back with my headlamp. What a relief! It took another half hour before we could reach the Tsomo cave, our camp site. That last half hour screwed with my senses badly. I would take five steps, heave and pause to take a breath and then another two steps. Then pause. Then another four or five before being pushed by Mammut from behind. Then another two and so on. We pushed and pushed and pushed. I could eat wood - was that hungry. Kept dreaming of lying flat in the tent once we reached the camp site.

A little later, we saw the glow of a fire. We were almost there. It was the Tsomo cave and we finally reached it 12+ hours later since we started. After sitting down at the cave, I had no energy to even move my legs. After a bit, I managed to drag myself towards Vikram who was sitting by the fire. He reached a half hour before and seemed set and comfy. It was then that I had my out-of-body experience - literally!

I first started perspiring - so I unzipped my jacket(s). Then I started feeling chills. It was weird and confusing. Someone handed me a cup of chai. Tsampa (barley powder) was going around and I put oodles of it in the tea and just gulped it down. For a full 2 minutes, I didn't know what was happening. I was in a zone. Was it high blood pressure? Was it a super drop in glucose levels? I don't know. Vikram and Ajay were attending to me. Ajay pulled out a thermal blanket (a shiny, silvery thing) and wrapped me in it. He gave me two glucose hits. I had the sense to ask for Dispirin (aspirin) and that seemed to have helped too (with what I don't know) - quite immediately. Throughout, I was in a zone - a daze - not completely clear what was happening inside or outside me.

That night in the cave, staring at the stars and constellations, snugly wrapped in my double-sleeping bag (thank you Vikram!) - I ruminated on how quickly and easily everything can come to an end. It wasn't painful or even difficult or any of that. In fact, it was somewhat druggy - you slowly slip out and possibly never come back. All the stupidities, irritations, anxieties, past-stuff really, future-stuff didn't matter. It was just the everlasting present - a huge, huge present - that's possibly a moment but has so much in that one moment that it's a complete whole.

I slept well that night.

Chadar Day 3: Once you are committed, you'll kick and crawl but have to make it!

This was yesterday. We are at Lingshed now. Vikram is slightly happy with his Cognac. Milan is doing Reiki like thing on Bhavna. Amrita is chilling out. Tsering came to switch on two solar lamps. Tania walked in with water. Ajay's gone back trekking to make phone calls with the single satellite phone in the village.

Yesterday - our Day 3 - was interesting. It was a short hike. Too much snow. I walked for a bit without my cramp-ons and slid and fell 4-5 times. Finally, I wore them again. I walked slowly and deliberately. There were too many people at the Nyeruk camp site. The kriya is different in these regions - goes deeper. I recall a waterfall from yesterday - a huge one. It was frozen, textured - so cold - with water dripping slowly inside of it. Before that there was a tree - a juniper tree - with several Buddhist prayer flags attached. I liked it.

There was soy and beans and dal and rice for dinner. Yum, yum. Jai ho Padma Wangtak!

Milan talked to everyone about the Lingshed trek the night before. Mainly about the difficulty levels. At one point he said, "In adventure lingo - we are talking about 'commitment' - once you are committed, you'll kick and crawl but make it."

I didn't find the hike to be really difficult but it was good to be mentally over-prepared. There were spots where a slip meant "end of story." There was also lots of snow. We saw a cave with stalactites and stalagmites - totally amazing. Water was slowly dripping. Mammut was kinda dizzy and nearly fainted at some points. No one rode the horse so I did. Lots of fun.

Chadar Day 1: Hello Zanskar!

It's Day 2 morning. I'm sitting next to the kitchen tent. The Zanksar river is slowly drifting in front of me. Himalayas encompassing all of us - all of everything. We are at a camp site called Lower Shingri/ Deepyokma? The porters are behind me - there are three fire spots to keep everyone warm. They slept outside. 23 porters for the 9 of us - what privilege?!

Yesterday, we trekked for about three hours. We were dropped off at the sorta end of the road. Then we trekked down to the frozen Zanskar river. It was pretty much a straight forward hike. We saw fresh foot prints of a snow leopard and that got everyone really excited.



Out here, everything distills down to the basics - including happiness. Taking a dump (any kinda dump) and just emptying bowels is a big deal. Everything tastes better - the tea, the noodles, the thukpa. When your hands and toes finally warm up, you feel really, really happy.

My tent mates and the rest of the gang are a lot of fun. Why isn't the city the same? The simplest of the silliest things make us laugh our heads off. The fact that everyone's going through this cold, cold weather, I guess creates a common pain-bond - if you will. Divya - for example - is the Mammut (derived from Mamut, an outdoor stuff brand). So Mammut is a huge creature that talks a lot, has a lot of hair instead of wool and has really white teeth. Oh what fun!

There is enough time to do everything at a pace that agrees with Nature and it feels correct. Why isn't it the same in the city? Ang Dui just walked by and asked me what I was doing. He told me everyone calls him "Senapati" pyar se.

Coming back to stuff here - on the way here, somewhere - there was an isolated house. Two actually. I asked Milan, "Why do they stay here? What makes them stay here?" Milan responded well, "Well, they would say - why not?"

When you look up at the sky - the expanse of the universe - the Ladakhi sky - Oh God that was something. I kept looking and looking trying to find meaning in the nothingness. I saw one constellation after another - looks so brilliant from down here. Bhavna helped me spot Mars and Venus. I swirl my head a 360 degrees and I see the edges of the HImalayas all around this space and then I see the huge, huge, ever expanding universe on top of me. Beautiful. Milan described it as a black chart sprinkled with random white paint - true - a million, billion dots - shining, twinkling brilliantly everywhere.

I slept so-so last night - quite disturbed. It was also very cold. Wonder how many hours I slept. Anyway, who cares. We are doing 6-7 hours of hiking today. Alright, everyone's here for breakfast - am off.

Words before flight - Chadar trek

So am sitting at gate A4 after a mad yday at the office, after emailing 3days ka stuff on one night until 1am, after a cranky day w Ahaan today, after getting a no-thanks for an interesting proposal :), after going to the absolutely wrong old terminal, after buying 4 thermals, 4 pairs of blister-free socks, 3 pairs of new undies, after buying a whistle+compass+thermometer all in one, after eating a super breakfast of aloo and gobi parathas (ate 2 each) at vinita's place with suz and ahaan, after deciding last minute not to go to that Adventure 18 place to buy some gear stuff and take a chance, after not booking a place to stay in Delhi for tonight and deciding to stay at the "sleep pod" in the airport, after have a mini nap with Ahaan and seeing him awake quicker than usual, after a semi calm kriya pre-lunch, after a nice early morning blahdebloo, after constantly feeling I've forgotten something.

Okay am ready Chadar - let's have fun and figure you out!