Chadar trek: Kharcha Paani

Here are my costs for the Chadar trek:

Trek cost: INR 58,000
Delhi-Leh-Delhi tickets: INR 6,000
Columbia shoes: INR 6,750
Smart Wool Socks: INR 3,105
Gear Rental: INR 4,000
Nike day bag and other stuff: INR 6,000
Mind altering experiences: priceless

Something like that.

Chadar trek: Final words

My fingers and toes are still not fully functional - not to speak about the brain! :-)

The Himalayas make you feel so small and so big at the same time. It makes whatever you do very important and very insignificant at the same time.

I sometimes think that it's all about each Ladakh trip. Each one is like the day and everything else in between is like the night where you are waiting to wake up to the next morning. And every single time you wake - you awake from inside like you've never before - having this whole and complete glimpse into life's truth. And every time you go back to the so called "real life", you step into the dark and clouded night. You know that it was there and something happened but can't remember much anyways. You have to plough through until it's day again.

Chadar Day 9: Jolted out at the Delhi airport

Tania, Ajay and I flew back together. There was a mini scare at night with Amrita have burned legs and us trying to find something to soothe her. I still don't know how it happened. My only solution for all ailments - aspirin!

It was amazing to see the Zanskar and the Chadar from the sky. It was unimaginable to think that just yesterday we were down there, walking, hiking, trekking. It was amazing to see the Himalayas. Endless and timeless.

Delhi airport hit me badly. I was surprised. Firstly, seeing the digital light from a cell phone was weird. Once I reached the main Departure lounge, the colors, the people, the alphabets, the commercials, books, magazines - everything - became all too loud and a bit too much. I tried buying a pen and felt the transaction awkward (never mind that the sales clerk rang me up before I finished deciding to buy). Went for a foot massage at the O2 spa in the airport - that seemed relaxing. I felt disoriented for the most part of my wait for the Mumbai flight. I felt out of place and all too overwhelmed. I couldn't get myself to call anyone for awhile and was glad that email didn't work on my bberry. Images of Chadar kept coming back (they still do).

I missed the whiteness of the Himalayas terribly and kept shutting my eyes.

Chadar Day 8: What Himalayas taught me (Back to Leh)

There was paratha and eggs for breakfast. I ate really well and even packed two rolls with cheese for the journey (what a good move I later realized!).

I kept a steady pace through the day - a deliberately slow one - with the realization that it was the last day in Zanskar (for now). I was prolonging my being with Himalayas as much as possible.

I recall that I was very happy, happy during lunch. Fooling around and taking pictures of everyone. D took one of me feeding pasta to the skull of the goat. Played with the snow. We were at the same spot (Deepyokma) where we slept the first night. I had the sense that hey, it's almost over and whether we like it or not we'll be enroute Leh now. Little did I know then that the rest of day would turn out to be as unpredictable as the previous day.

I walked pretty much by myself. Wanted to be with the Himalayas. Thinking and thinking and absorbing the endless surroundings. Most of what I thought was about the Himalayas themselves. How it blocked the clouds, brought the snow and rain down, created rivers, sent them down below to India and everywhere, changed seasons, how the same water evaporated again, joined clouds, drifted towards the same Himalayas again, came down again....meaningless but full of meaning! The Himalayas are so huge, so vast, so timeless that everything else seems so very small in front of it. It pretty much ignores everything and everybody - quite stoically - yet, observes everything very actively. You dump on it, sleep on it, pee on it, love it, meditate on it, tread on it, die on it - it all means the same. It's all the same. It keeps on doing its thing - as it thinks is right - again and again and again. There are no goals, no destinations. It seems so purposeless that in it lies every purpose. The Himalayas have been around for millions of years before my time and they'll be there for millions of years after my time. I am but a speck of dust.

There were areas along the trek that were difficult and downright risky. One fall and you are in the Zanskar (remember: "end of story). How the porters did it with all the weight on their backs - is quite amazing. I slid and fell a few times on the ice - sometimes a couple of feet from the river. Nice!

When Namgyal (one of the kitchen staff) told me we have another hour of trekking left, I took it as my "last hour in Zanskar" and prolonged as much as possible. I didn't realize then that that one hour would be rolled into several and would turn out to be a mini-adventure in itself.

Once I reached the road (one had to hike up and away from the Chadar), I kept walking and walking - expecting to find the vehicles that would transport us back to Leh. I didn't see them! I must've walked for 5 km in the solidifying snow with no vehicles in sight. We passed through the Hemank - Border Roads Organization - camp site. We had driven past all this on our way to the Chadar. What happened to the vehicles?

Dorje, the 20 year member of the kitchen staff joined me after awhile in my walk. We walked together. He told me about his village in Zanskar, his family of 10 (4 brothers, 4 sisters, 1 mamma, 1 pappa). When I asked him if he ever considered moving to the city for a living - he matter of factly told me, "There's great milk in Zanskar from big cows, why would I want to move to the city?" He added thoughtfully, "It's also too hot and there are too many vehicles." He made sure both of us prayed at a mini temple that we found on the way and also that we offered something to the Gods. He then said it's a local ritual and now the Gods are happy and our journey would be safe. (What did he know that I didn't? Where are the vehicles?)

When we reached the next camp site/ village, I somehow assumed the vehicles would be there. There weren't. Instead, we saw Ajay - all ready and set for a hike. He said that the road's broken down (due to either an avalanche or a broken truck) and everyone's in the village restaurant. We went it. A curtain closed the dark room everyone was sitting. Everyone cheered as I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. Then I saw everyone happy on local rum (Chinar). What? Aren't we going to hike to Chiling? Where are the vehicles?

Milan amazingly organized a military truck to get our chilled butts to Chiling village - about 12km away. I tore my Goretex pants trying to get on top of the truck. Back of the truck, my fingers froze. I tried everything - from sitting on them to cupping them in my armpits. Nothing worked. They stayed frozen. The military truck (which almost run a couple of us down), dropped us at Chiling (thank you, thank you, thank you!). We played Anthakshari and waited for the vehicles, which finally arrived. It took us another 3+ hours of driving in the snow before we got back to Leh. I packed and got ready for my early morning flight out of Ladakh.

Chadar Day 7: The night I came back to life (Tsomo Cave)

This was the toughest day by far. Tsering said that the day would be long - possibly a 7hr hike. It wasn't 7 but 11. We started at 7.45AM and reached at 7.40PM - with a lunch break in between. It took the "mickey out of me" - to use Milan's words.

All was well until lunch. I think we took a break at a spot where had rested before. I can't remember now. During lunch, everyone voted/ took a call on whether they'd like to proceed or halt for the night and take it easy. Everyone wanted to proceed and so we did.

The whole day involved ploughing through snow. Snow meant that there were fewer early travelers and therefore a less cleared path. Each step meant digging in and then ploughing out. I don't remember what happened during most of the day. It was just walking and walking and walking - one foot at a time without thinking about the destination. (I'm seeing houses and houses and buildings and buildings from the plane - yuck!).

Mammut and I were together as dusk set in. Earlier in the day, I kept pace with Tsering Le and that was real fast for me. Tsering is 54 and walks better than most 20 year olds. Thakpa told me that the Ladakhis are born with bigger lungs making them natural to the mountains. All my fast paced walking added up towards the evening. It got darker and darker. Starting with the crescent moon, slowly the night sky started revealing itself out. No one behind, no one ahead. Just blackness with guidance from my LED headlamp. At some points, I worried if we had gotten past the camp site and didn't realize it. What if we had to camp at some hole in the mountain right there? What would we feed our already famished bodies? How would we survive the cold? It was about -15 to -20 degrees centigrade. How would the rest of the team find us? Why did we take those breaks on the way? I would push aside the answer-less questions and look up to the constellations that started showing up one by one. A beautiful but gentle reminder that we were very late.

Each step became more difficult than the previous one. Fatigue had completely overtaken the mind. The brain was slowing down. Oxygen levels were low. Climbing up and down the rocks seemed a deadly chore. At some points, I almost didn't care where my foot landed! One little slide and we would be in the Zanskar and to use Pankaj's words - that would be "end of story." Mammut didn't have light so we were coordinating our steps together.

Finally after several unknown dozens of minutes, I saw a flash of light from someone's headlamp. The main light and then the flash from the red LED. It was a message. I messaged back with my headlamp. What a relief! It took another half hour before we could reach the Tsomo cave, our camp site. That last half hour screwed with my senses badly. I would take five steps, heave and pause to take a breath and then another two steps. Then pause. Then another four or five before being pushed by Mammut from behind. Then another two and so on. We pushed and pushed and pushed. I could eat wood - was that hungry. Kept dreaming of lying flat in the tent once we reached the camp site.

A little later, we saw the glow of a fire. We were almost there. It was the Tsomo cave and we finally reached it 12+ hours later since we started. After sitting down at the cave, I had no energy to even move my legs. After a bit, I managed to drag myself towards Vikram who was sitting by the fire. He reached a half hour before and seemed set and comfy. It was then that I had my out-of-body experience - literally!

I first started perspiring - so I unzipped my jacket(s). Then I started feeling chills. It was weird and confusing. Someone handed me a cup of chai. Tsampa (barley powder) was going around and I put oodles of it in the tea and just gulped it down. For a full 2 minutes, I didn't know what was happening. I was in a zone. Was it high blood pressure? Was it a super drop in glucose levels? I don't know. Vikram and Ajay were attending to me. Ajay pulled out a thermal blanket (a shiny, silvery thing) and wrapped me in it. He gave me two glucose hits. I had the sense to ask for Dispirin (aspirin) and that seemed to have helped too (with what I don't know) - quite immediately. Throughout, I was in a zone - a daze - not completely clear what was happening inside or outside me.

That night in the cave, staring at the stars and constellations, snugly wrapped in my double-sleeping bag (thank you Vikram!) - I ruminated on how quickly and easily everything can come to an end. It wasn't painful or even difficult or any of that. In fact, it was somewhat druggy - you slowly slip out and possibly never come back. All the stupidities, irritations, anxieties, past-stuff really, future-stuff didn't matter. It was just the everlasting present - a huge, huge present - that's possibly a moment but has so much in that one moment that it's a complete whole.

I slept well that night.

Chadar Day 6: When bags and laces freeze at (-20C at Nyeruk)

I'm writing this on Day 9 sitting inside a Jet flight back to Delhi. Sucks! Also, hungry.

Going down from Lingshed in the snow was fun. I don't know how time went after Lingshed - I didn't have time for Kriya either. It snowed like crazy and temperatures dipped around -20 degrees centigrade. I was happy my fingers and toes didn't fall off. It snowed throughout the day. We had lunch at the base of Lingshed mountains. Padma Wangtak - our great cook with a military background - made totally amazing desi pasta. I saw him cook it - ghee first, some onions, freshly chopped tomatoes, cabbage, and spices. Yum! He cooked in the snow. Made me really wonder about the various travails we go through to simply eat in the city. This tasted seriously better.

We waded through snow, ice, water and rocks to reach Nyeruk. On the way I got into snow fights. In one, Milan dug my face and clothes into the snow. We reached Nyeruk village around 4pm I guess. My gators and shoes were frozen, socks, Goretex and everything else was soaking wet. I stay put in Meme's hut for most of the evening. Meme is called so because he's a goat keeper. I slept back in the tent but the rest of gang slept with Meme's goats in the other room. I kept looking at him. He has only one eye - he's 80-85 years old. Stays alone. Dressed always in maroon colored Buddhist clothes. During the day, he wears blue colored glasses to cover his blind eye (am guessing). Tsering got him six bottles of Chinar rum. He enjoyed his piece of chicken with relish. Meme sits quietly and observes everything. He comprehends everything but doesn't speak much. He's very much like the Himalayas.

We had dinner in his hut. Milan always provided briefings in the morning and at night. That night, we had to make a call about leaving the next morning or not. Meme and Tsering intently listened to the 8PM All India Radio news. The radio said it would snow heavily until the next evening. It didn't.

It was cold, cold, bitter cold night in the tent. I didn't sleep very well. Our bags, laces, everything that was outside was very frozen. My thermometer lost its reading - it can only go up till -20C. Earlier that evening, Mammut, Milan and I talked about stuff - of doing multiple interesting things v/s focusing on some. The discussion continued till the morning I left Leh.

Chadar Day 5: Hanging out with the Buddhist nuns of Lingshed

Today was truly amazing. It's dark now. Everyone's doing their own thing. Tania is getting her hair cut by Thakpa. I'm in the other room. We are staying in someone's home/ hut - more like a guest house. Reminds me of the time in Lesotho somewhere - the local people vacated their hut ofr us. Jeff and I discussed whether we would do the same with our homes? The entrance is by a sheep/ goat/ horse stand - at the basement, which leads up to the main area - a small courtyard with two rooms and a kitchen. There's a spot to brush teeth and then there's the huge Ladakhi bathroom - where you take a dump and cover it up with mud. The dump hole was two-storeyed. So if you were in the bottom-most - technically someone could be taking a dump on your head from top!

We had aloo parathas for breakfast and chole-batura for lunch - what luck! It was unexpected, exciting and very tasty. A bit much for a hiking trek. I promptly pooped whatever I overate. It's been snowing all day. There's also a local brew and two bottles of Merlot in the neighboring room.

After a Dumb Charades game and mostly a listless morning, I stepped out in my gear - it's a pain to get into it - polyprops, thermals, goretex, double socks, shoes, gators over the shoes, gloves, stick, neck gator, cap...oh tiring. I stepped out to figure Lingshed out. Started by going towards the monastery because it's Pradeep's 30th birthday today. Also because that's the only dig I knew about in this village of 86 people - other than of course, the satellite phone place. I took the first path that I found and followed it. I was happy I did.

It took me up and up to the unknown. I must say that the houses and construction are pretty well-made for a small village. Perhaps the snow and weather demands good construction. The women inside the nunnery spotted me outside and invited me to come up. Inside, there were about 10 people - 3-4 elderly women and the rest kids (girls). There I met Otsal (means "clean light" - a name given to her by the Dalai Lama) - she as the most communicative, very sharp and bright. She spoke nearly fluently in both English and Hindi and told me she needed to know neither. Everyone told me their names - names I can't remember now. But it was nice to hear. Some of them found my name amusing and kept saying it aloud - Prawind, Prewin etc. even deriving Ladakhi meanings from it. What fun! They told me it would take me an hour to reach the main monastery so I decided to stay put and not go - given it was get dark in a short while. They said, stay longer and I did.

I visited the Buddha at the temple. It was very nice. There was a huge picture of the Dalai Lama - he visited Lingshed the previous year. I returned to the main room - after a bit - everyone started their evening prayers. It was surreal. They offered me butter-tea and tsampa (barley powder). I mixed the tea and the powder in a little cup and make balls out of it. That's what everyone did. They were amused at my clumsiness. The barley ball sticks to your mouth and creates a certain lingering bland taste. You feel that it produces heat instantly and provides quick energy.

I left a little later after clicking pictures with them.

I don't know what it was but the whole experience touched me deep inside. The fact that they didn't the many, many, many trappings that I need. Including the need to "do stuff", "create meaning", "experience things" "make myself useful" etc. etc. I asked them how they decided to become nuns. Otsal said that she decided to become so herself but some others came because their families decided for them. I wonder what's what, who's who, where's where. What's the meaning of this all?

I also went to Otsal's house and met her parents, her brother's son - Legdup - a four-month old boy. Very nice day!

Chadar Day 4: Reaching snowy Lingshed

It's difficult to write the previous day's stuff because the mind has already moved on and on. I completed a great kriya, meditation - was deeper. It's easy to get to a point and stay there.

The difficulty of trek was in it's risk. Anything could've happened. Vikram is doing a heads-down yoga thing. I think everyone's a little bored, waiting for dinner. I got teased a lot with my idiosyncrasies - "in...teresting" and my indefinite pauses...:)

Trekking alone - which I did at one major point - is more interesting. When you look back, ahead, sideways, and when you see only the Himalayas in its various forms - it's deeper. Can't reflect with all this distraction around. Shtopp it!

Chadar Day 3: Once you are committed, you'll kick and crawl but have to make it!

This was yesterday. We are at Lingshed now. Vikram is slightly happy with his Cognac. Milan is doing Reiki like thing on Bhavna. Amrita is chilling out. Tsering came to switch on two solar lamps. Tania walked in with water. Ajay's gone back trekking to make phone calls with the single satellite phone in the village.

Yesterday - our Day 3 - was interesting. It was a short hike. Too much snow. I walked for a bit without my cramp-ons and slid and fell 4-5 times. Finally, I wore them again. I walked slowly and deliberately. There were too many people at the Nyeruk camp site. The kriya is different in these regions - goes deeper. I recall a waterfall from yesterday - a huge one. It was frozen, textured - so cold - with water dripping slowly inside of it. Before that there was a tree - a juniper tree - with several Buddhist prayer flags attached. I liked it.

There was soy and beans and dal and rice for dinner. Yum, yum. Jai ho Padma Wangtak!

Milan talked to everyone about the Lingshed trek the night before. Mainly about the difficulty levels. At one point he said, "In adventure lingo - we are talking about 'commitment' - once you are committed, you'll kick and crawl but make it."

I didn't find the hike to be really difficult but it was good to be mentally over-prepared. There were spots where a slip meant "end of story." There was also lots of snow. We saw a cave with stalactites and stalagmites - totally amazing. Water was slowly dripping. Mammut was kinda dizzy and nearly fainted at some points. No one rode the horse so I did. Lots of fun.

Chadar Day 2: Frozen waterfalls and a heart burn

It snowed all night. This is Day 3 morning. In front of me is the Zanskar flowing peacefully, the big and mighty Himalayas are all around. There's sand mixed with snow outside the tent. Someone's dusting something and it's echoing across the mountain range. We are going to start our day in a few minutes.

Yesterday (Day 2) was a lot of fun. It was also long. 7 hours of trekking on ice, snow, some gravel, some sand. I loved sliding down a waterfall - a frozen one of course. Weird to even think of it. It was spectacularly amazing. I sat for a long time touching the wavy texture. Was talking to Tania about Anish Kapoor's art and the Delhi art scene. We were talking, walking and looking at the frozen, paused splash of a waterfall. At what point of time, did it decide to just pause time?



Later in the afternoon, we walked faster. Vikram walked even faster. He kept pace with the porters. The local Ladakhis are amazing - what strength and resilience. Last night was a difficult night. I ate baked beans for dinner and slept almost immediately. This led to severe heart burn and discomfort in my chest area. I think I slept almost at 2AM but slept alright after that. Early in the morning (5AM?), we had our Mammut jokes - that the Mammut plays with snow leopards and then there are Mammutoids. The Mammut takes a dump once a week and that's how the mountains are formed. Haha!

Alright, have to return the pencil. The trek to Nyeruk today will be interesting. It's all snow.

Chadar Day 1: Hello Zanskar!

It's Day 2 morning. I'm sitting next to the kitchen tent. The Zanksar river is slowly drifting in front of me. Himalayas encompassing all of us - all of everything. We are at a camp site called Lower Shingri/ Deepyokma? The porters are behind me - there are three fire spots to keep everyone warm. They slept outside. 23 porters for the 9 of us - what privilege?!

Yesterday, we trekked for about three hours. We were dropped off at the sorta end of the road. Then we trekked down to the frozen Zanskar river. It was pretty much a straight forward hike. We saw fresh foot prints of a snow leopard and that got everyone really excited.



Out here, everything distills down to the basics - including happiness. Taking a dump (any kinda dump) and just emptying bowels is a big deal. Everything tastes better - the tea, the noodles, the thukpa. When your hands and toes finally warm up, you feel really, really happy.

My tent mates and the rest of the gang are a lot of fun. Why isn't the city the same? The simplest of the silliest things make us laugh our heads off. The fact that everyone's going through this cold, cold weather, I guess creates a common pain-bond - if you will. Divya - for example - is the Mammut (derived from Mamut, an outdoor stuff brand). So Mammut is a huge creature that talks a lot, has a lot of hair instead of wool and has really white teeth. Oh what fun!

There is enough time to do everything at a pace that agrees with Nature and it feels correct. Why isn't it the same in the city? Ang Dui just walked by and asked me what I was doing. He told me everyone calls him "Senapati" pyar se.

Coming back to stuff here - on the way here, somewhere - there was an isolated house. Two actually. I asked Milan, "Why do they stay here? What makes them stay here?" Milan responded well, "Well, they would say - why not?"

When you look up at the sky - the expanse of the universe - the Ladakhi sky - Oh God that was something. I kept looking and looking trying to find meaning in the nothingness. I saw one constellation after another - looks so brilliant from down here. Bhavna helped me spot Mars and Venus. I swirl my head a 360 degrees and I see the edges of the HImalayas all around this space and then I see the huge, huge, ever expanding universe on top of me. Beautiful. Milan described it as a black chart sprinkled with random white paint - true - a million, billion dots - shining, twinkling brilliantly everywhere.

I slept so-so last night - quite disturbed. It was also very cold. Wonder how many hours I slept. Anyway, who cares. We are doing 6-7 hours of hiking today. Alright, everyone's here for breakfast - am off.